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MISS PERKY It says here you exposed yourself to a group of freshmen girls. She motions for Patrick to enter her office and Cameron shuffles out the door, bumping into MICHAEL ECKMAN, a lanky, brainy senior who will either end up a politician or game show host. You're venturing far past daytime talk show fodder and entering the world of those who need very expensive therapy. CAMERON Why do girls like that always like guys like that? Their mothers liked guys like that, and their grandmothers before them. KAT "Undulating with desire, Adrienne removes her crimson cape, revealing her creamy --" WALTER STRATFORD, a blustery, mad scientist-type obstetrician, enters through the front door, wearing a doctor's white jacket and carrying his black bag. KAT I realize that the men of this fine institution are severely lacking, but killing yourself so you can be with William Shakespeare is beyond the scope of normal teenage obsessions. Cowboys eating cue of a can of beans linger on the grass behind them. Cameron and Michael rise as Cameron tries to catch a glimpse of Bianca as she walks back inside. Kat has to SLAM the brakes to keep from hitting him KAT (yelling) Remove head from sphincter! Michael begins fearfully, pedaling as Kat PEELS out, angry at the delay. He slows to a stop MICHAEL Yeah, just a minor encounter with the shrew. Kat stands behind her, reading over her shoulder as she types. GUIDANCE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE - DAY Kat now sits before Miss Perky. KAT I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls. MISS PERKY The point is Kat -- people perceive you as somewhat ... MISS PERKY (continuing) You might want to work on that Kat rises from her chair with a plastic smile matching the counselor's. Shakespeare makes him a bit daunting, but I'm sure you're all doing your best. By the way, Bobby Rictor's gonad retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested. She grimaces, as if she's referring to a medical condition. Bianca looks up and smiles the smile of Daddy's little girl. TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU written by Karen Mc Cullah Lutz & Kirsten Smith based on 'Taming of the Shrew" by William Shakespeare Revision November 12, 1997 PADUA HIGH SCHOOL - DAY Welcome to Padua High School,, your typical urban-suburban high school in Portland, Oregon. Loners, Lovers, the In and the Out Crowd rub sleep out of their eyes and head for the main building. CAMERON I don't think so, ma'am MISS PERKY Then go forth. Cameron rises to leave and makes eye contact with PATRICK VERONA, a sullen-looking bad ass senior who waits outside Ms Perky's door. Miss Perky looks down at her file and up at Patrick MISS PERKY (continuing) Patrick Verona.
Kat attacks KAT The fact that you're cutting gym so you can T. Sophomore English just to hear his name, is a little without in itself if you ask me.
Do you really think he's gonna wanna dace a ninety pound compulsive who failed volleyball?
MANDELLA But imagine the things he'd say during sex. You kill yourself, you end up in wherever you end up and he's there. WALTER I hope dinner's ready because I only have ten minutes before Mrs. He grabs the mail and rifles through it, as he bends down to kiss Sharon on the cheek.
Patrick, lounging in his seat in the back row, elbows a crusty-looking crony, identified by the name SCURVY, embroidered on his workshirt. Chastity opens the note and reads: INSERT - "JOEY DORSEY SAID HI TO ME IN THE HALL!
KAT As always, thank you for your excellent guidance. SOPHOMORE ENGLISH CLASS - DAY Bianca ignores the droning teacher as she writes a note in big flowing handwriting. Bianca folds the note and passes it behind her with a flip of her hair to CHASTITY.
MICHAEL (continuing) To the right, we have the Coffee Kids. A cloud of pot smoke hovers above them MICHAEL (continuing) Big Marley fans. Semi-political, but mostly, they watch a lot of Wild Kingdom, if you know what I mean. JOEY DORSEY, a well-muscled jock with great cheekbones, makes fun of her from his row.